I think the family should do something fun all together. Why send one kid on a play date then take the rest of the siblings out to have fun with the family?
Do you think it would upset a young boy if he was at a play date, and both his parents took his siblings out to dinner/movie/fun outing? Or would he not care? Usually boys are upset when friends do something fun without them.
That would depend on the boy and the family. Did you consider that maybe it's the other siblings are the ones who felt left out because the brother had a play date and they didn't .. Perhaps the parents taking them out to dinner and a movie was to make THEM feel as though they had something special to enjoy.
Raising a family of siblings is a difficult enough task to find a constant level of balance. Sometimes it's unessesssary to reward each child with a special event all at one time. It would be an impossible task to keep everyone happy everytime .. All the time. Sometimes it just works out that each 'special event' has to be staggered so that everyone has their special things to enjoy .. . Not coincidal. It's not about favouring one child over the other or allowing one to enjoy an event and not the others. Each child's needs should be handled individually .
The ideal situation would be that the "young" boy had equal access and understanding of the two things that he was choosing between.
If the dinner/movie/fun outing was already a typical outing for the family as opposed to a once a year event, I would suggest it be toned down somewhat.
Why---because the actions we perform sometimes send unintended messages to those affected by them.
And in this case, I think the risks of sending a mixed message to the child who chose the play date without knowledge of the options (even if they did not exist at the time) he might have had is perehaps asking him to have to process much more than he may be capable of handling without some damange.
