A mom found out her daughter was bullying a girl at school over the second hand clothes she wore. Mom took daughter to thrift store and told her to pick out the ugliest clothes she could find. She made her wear them for the next few days.  Lesson learned.  Do you agree with the way she handled this?

I agree and applaud the mother on the way she handled it. Something like this should happen more often. Some people just have to be knocked down a peg or two.

Bravo.

I buy a lot of second hand clothes from thrift stores. They have some nice things which sometimes still have their orginal tags. When I'm complemented on my outfits, I always mention which thirft store and how little I payed.

Funny how adulthood and its commitments to mortgage and bills changes a point of view.

Kids think money grows on trees. I applaud the mother for teaching a lesson.

NOPE ... I totally disagree with how the mom handled it, under the premise that "Two wrongs do not make a right".

I've seen these "lessons" played out too many times, to pretend they are the best option to use.  All the mother REALLY did was humiliate her daughter, and teach her to resent the other girl.  Which will result in more subtle forms of bullying. 

The mother should have facilitated a discussion between the girls.  Or at the least, talked to her daughter and explained to her why the bullying was inappropriate behavior.  If that failed to change her daughter, then she could have escalated the consequences.

No, I don't.  Because I'm not sure what her mother hoped to accomplish, nor do I know what she actually did accomplish---and we may not really know for years..

Yes, I think it's very appropriate.  Kudos to Mom!

Yep, took her down a peg or two! Zero tolerance for bullying, this mum showed her that she too could have to wear second hand clothes and that wearing them doesn't  make you a lesser person, her having new clothes is just a matter of wealth.

It's very unique to say the least. I see both points of view. My thoughts are each child is different. If this mom truly has her daughter's best interest at heart then she is the one who would know.

My daughter IS the one who got bullied and unfortunately we believe my daughters bully was abused at home. I don't think putting thrift store clothes on her bully would have worked. In her case I think it would have esculated the bully attitude. She even tried to tell my daughter that her MOM wanted to beat her up also!

As far as that being a punishment for my kids!?!? Heck no!!! That would be a day of shopping and getting new outfits! We Yin and Yang girls LOVE thrift store clothes! Even when we buy ourselves new clothes we always go back to the outfits that are already worn in! Lol! 😆

You have to know your child and what works on them. I think with some child it would work great, others it will make things worse.

With that being said, a lo of people lain we should never shame children. While i agree we should not shame for things like ethnicity, gender, religion, etc.. The things that make them who they are. I have no problem shaming a child who is acting shamefully. Things like bullying, stealing, lying. They need to be called out and taught the shame of their actions. 

Great question!
Unfortunately it's a double sided coin.

On one side you have the lesson of humility.

On the other side it showing that wearing/purchasing 2nd hand clothes is a punishment.

The heart and lesson is in the right place and I agree with the method although the actions would need to be followed by clarification of what the lesson meant or else everyone will have an opinion. 

I don't think it was a needlessly mean way to handle it, or even a poor way to handle it, but I think that it could have been handled better as far as benefiting and learning. A punishment should teach children why they were wrong, not just used as a deterrent. If the child does not learn why they were wrong, it just brings resentment. Plus, if anything, the punishment could reinforce the concept that thrift store clothes are ugly and that wearing them is a strictly negative predicament.

A suggestion on how to handle it instead? I think that she needs to learn that it is ridiculous to expect that people wear expensive clothes. It is not a bad quality to wear thrift store and second hand clothes. She also needs to learn about money, think about it. She seems ignorant about money if she really thinks that lowly of second hand clothes. She needs to have experience with budgeting and not having everything she wants. I would send her to the thrift store to buy clothes, but I wouldn't make her pick out ugly clothes. I would make her have to wear them for a time so that she can no longer use the clothes she wears as a way to make herself say that she's superior to others, but not to necessarily embarrass her because the point is to teach her that the clothes you wear does not define your worth one way or the other. I would also give her a certain amount of money for her clothes so that she has to spend wisely on them. Perhaps down along the line, allow her to shop at department stores, but not give her enough money to get all the clothes she wants or needs from them so she has to balance between getting the clothes she wants and buying second hand. It would be a punishment in the sense that she loses privileges, but it would also bring her to see from a different point of view. Giving her the responsibility of getting clothes with a set budget will also teach her impulse control, that she has to save and wait to get something she wants or settle for something else. Plus, money skills are always a valuable thing to teach children.

I have news for the parent . . . If you think you can force empathy with one act down someone's throat . . . Good luck.

If it worked great, but usually they will go in with an attitude that is not conducive to learning the lesson the parent had planned . . .

Sometimes empathy can be taught "In the Moment" . . . Once you get a child to identify clearly with feeling bullied . . . Hopefully it will sink in.

Walk a mile in my shoes.

On point MOM.