Continued from my post early today. Oh, you may want to read the other one that I post today first before reading this one::::...........he is going through a divorce, so he's depressed, he needs someone to talk to, thus I am trying to help him, etc., , I said, it's ok for you to talk to him as a friend, but why do you have to hide, and where am I in the picture? He doesn't know who I am? As a matter of fact, this same guy had texted her cell phone for 11 times, saying he misses her, loves her and all that, and now he called at night, and I told her all about that, and she said, oh, well, he was playing, and I told him to stop and he wouldn't and I can't do anything about that, etc.,,, I said "if you really want him to stop, there are ways legally that you can do to make him stop"..., etc.,, Anyway, I forgave her again, and a few weeks later, we were going through another challenge, her parents said "so you guys are going to get married? I told them the whole stories of 3 times that she had hurt me, and the parents said "well, my daughter didn't do anything wrong, you are not married to her yet, so she has the right to do all that, oh well,,,,,,,,,, I said, married or not, when you're in a committed relationship, those are some of the things that you should not do, because these things create the relationship to be unhealthy. Oh, well, and a few days later she wanted to talk about getting married, I said "going through all this, I am not sure if I really wanted or not, and I think we need to work things out first before getting married", she said "well, we get married first, and work things out later, and if I don't marry her, she is going to find someone else to get married with in a few months" and she kept threatening to leave again, and then took all her cloths and went back to live with her parents, and a week later, she wanted to come back, she realized that she did a lot of things wrong to me, and she knew her mistakes now, and said that if I let her come back, she would change, and be a good person. I said "Adios, 3 times are enough!"..........and that's where we are right now........haven't talked to each other for several weeks now. By the way, in case you wonder about our ages, we both are in the mid-thirty, and we both got divorced after knowing each other for a year. Thank you for everyone's help. You all are helping me a lot, and have been so great to me. God bless everyone in here. Thanks.

 Sounds to me like she finds it difficult to live in a non-committed relationship. By living together you have already married her in a way, though not legally.

Is it possible that a great deal of her stress comes from your lack of commitment? She gave you two precious years of her life. Could it be that she feels used? She loves you. She gave herself to you, and you are enjoying the benefits as a married life without the commitment. This can create a tremendous stress and insecurity in her, which may lead to conflict.

That is one of the reasons why I am against sex before marriage. If you are not ready to commit, don't live together. And if she gave you "discounts", as someone has put it on this site, she took a high risk, and suffers the consequences of her poor choice.

I am not saying that you should marry her legally. If you are not ready, don't do it. But do not live with her or someone else again until you marry her. You would hurt them if you do.

It looks like you want the benefits of a married life without the commitment that marriage requires. I may be wrong, but that's the way it looks like to me. I hope you can find a way to fix this, one way or another, without extending the agony. I am praying for you.