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Juliamarie
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Recognised Blurter |
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Group member since |
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23 Jan 2008 |
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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. In the beginning things were more on the positive side than they are now. There were plenty of warning signs saying i should just leave and I never did partly because I am very afraid of being alone. However, i have noticed that ever since we have been together he is very irrisponsible with money. I am the complete opposite. Over the past year he has helped me get myself into debt. Let me explain. I pulled out credit cards to help in times of trouble and maxed them out paying for stuff that he supposedly "needed". Then i pulled out a loan so that WE could move to a different town. Within a month he decided he didnt' want to live there and moved back to his home town. Instead of letting him go like i should have, i cam running back to him. That right there adds up to about 4000.00 in debt that he helped me get. Not to mention all the collections bills he has that he refuses to pay on. Now, the collections group is going to garnish his wages and basically he will no longer have a paycheck because of this and child support. He thought it would be ok for the collections company to take money from my account to pay his bills. Knowing all of this, I am ready to call it quits because i am working 2 jobs to pay the bills he helped me aquire, while he only works one and refuses to pay his own bills but thinks i will be ok to help him pay them. I finally broke down and told him i can't pay them. I don't know where to go from here. I know that if i leave him, he is totally "screwed". This makes me feel like a bad person but i can't hand this anymore. What do i do? And does it make me a bad person that i'm not willing to help him pay his bills?
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Soinlove23
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Baby Blurter |
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07 Mar 2008 |
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I think the best thing to do is to ask yourself, "am i willing to love him and accept him despite all his flaws?" if your answer is no, then you can try giving the relationship a chance. But if you think you can't possibly take him for his attitude, then you need to take a break. Think about things over. Based on your story it seems that you have an "established" relationship already so it may or may not be hard for you to let go. But still, there is nothing to lose if you think things over. With regards to your question if you are bad because you are not helping him pay his bills, i don't think you are bad. It's his responsibility anyway. You are in a relationship but it doesn't mean that his debts will be yours too. You definitely are not obliged to pay for his bills so, don't feel bad about it.
I hope this helped. Good luck!
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When Is It Time To Say It Isn't Going To Work Anymore.
When Is It Time To Say It Isn't Going To Work Anymore. 
