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Jolenew |
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03 Aug 2007 |
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I am a mother of two children from a previous marriage. Although we have had some disagreements, it has not ruined our relationship, in fact, I believe it has strengthened it. Although we do kind of look forward to not having to be responsible for them. lol
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Lovelyme |
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31 Jul 2007 |
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hi, jolenew, thanks for your honest opinion. I am in my late twenties, and so scared about the idea of having children. Having a child means you need to spend a lot of time and money on them while you would have spent these on yourselves. You can not go to romantic dinner with a crying baby often, you can not enjoy a trip with children who need to be taken care of, you can not be fashionable why you have to do lots of chores as a mom, so I think it really need courage to have children.
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Jaimesix |
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06 Aug 2007 |
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All of the objections about having children are immediately erased from your mind once you see the product of your love, the life that you have brought in.
You will automatically change the way you think, no longer being "me"..."my time"...."my life"....but instead...."My family"...."my kids"!!!
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Lovelyme |
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31 Jul 2007 |
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yeah, jaimesix, i have heard many people saying that. But i am still scared of having a baby, because i dont want to change 'my. my life. my time' to ' my kids'. Maybe i am too selfish?!
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Haloflower |
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06 Aug 2007 |
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If you are really worried why don't you find a friend who would let you and your partner watch their kids for a day. After a while you might realize you like caring for another human being. I did the same thing before I had my daughter,and now I can't imagine life without her!
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Lovelyme |
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31 Jul 2007 |
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hi, haloflower, thanks for your comment. I have looked after my nephew for a few hours. you know what, I feel so tired after that. Kids are so energic and running everywhere, so i hv to follow them all the time, its so relieved when i gave back to his mom.
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Lovelyme |
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31 Jul 2007 |
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And, my boyfriend also does not like to have kids, so...
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The time for children has to be right with you, LM, and there is nothing wrong with it if you decide you never wnat to have children. Someday you may not feel the same, but who knows? Meanwhile, nothing to be afraid of or feel guilty about--you're making the right choice for you, right now...
And no, you are not being selfish ion the least in your desire not to have children! Actually, I think people are selfish when they HAVE children when they really haven't considered why they're having them and the commitment involved, and/or really don't want their lives to change. Consider that many people have children for reasons other than their own--it's expected, or they feel pressured, or they may become pregnant accidentally. I think your self-awareness is really great. Really great.
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Jolenew |
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03 Aug 2007 |
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You are absolutely correct Amore01. There are many people out there who do not want children and have them anyway. That probably would ruin the relationship. But if you do want children (both of you) I honestly do not believe that it hurts it at all. You HAVE to make time for each other regardless of the current situation. Whether it be the kids, work, family whatever, as long as you make your man feel important, you won't have troubles should you decide you want them.
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Lovelyme |
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31 Jul 2007 |
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Amore01, Jolenew, thanks for your comment. I feel relieved, as I recently get lots of pressure from my parents who think if i dont hv a baby, my life is not completed. But i am the person who always gives 100 percent to everything i am doing, so if i am going to have a baby, i will give all my time and love to them. But I am really not ready for this now and dont think this will happen in the future because i really enjoy the life just me and my boyfriend.
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Meyer07 |
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19 Aug 2007 |
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My personal opinion it is NOT time for you to have children it would ruin your relationship with yourself before it would ruin the relationship with your other half. Some people were made to be parents, some like the idea of saying they have kids and then they stick them in front of a TV with a Game, and then there are people whom would rather not have kids at all because they do not want to share their relationship with no one other then their other-half's. The first or last is ok but don't become a parent for the title.....you can take your child or children out to eat I have since the day they were born so they know how to act in a public place and I have wonderfully mannered children.
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Lovelyme |
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31 Jul 2007 |
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Hi, meyer07, i am sure you are a great mom, and i know it really takes time and enery to educate a kid properly. For me, just as you said, i am the kind person who "would rather not have kids at all because they do not want to share their relationship with no one other then their other-half's"
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Hikarichan |
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05 Oct 2007 |
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I am turning 21 in a week and I have a 6-month-old. We wanted to have our baby girl and everything was fine until I couldn't have sex with my husband after having the baby. It wasn't his fault that I had to have an emergency C-section, but because of that, I was out of commission for about 8 weeks. He felt that he needed to turn to porn and that was ok with me but then it turned into "playing" with women on online dating sites and conversing with them all the time and ignoring myself and our baby. It has turned into a huge issue for us, but we are trying to work on it. Sometimes its not so much the baby but that htere is no chance for intamacy for a while. No matter how well prepared you think you are, sometimes it still isn't enough.
And as far as the comment about not being fashionable with a baby.....it is possible! Just because you have a baby doesn't mean that you are wearing sweats and bandanas all the time :p
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Lovelyme |
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31 Jul 2007 |
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I wish your body recovered soon!
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Alyssa2021 |
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23 Mar 2008 |
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No.omg whats wrong with u.
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Will children ruin relationship?
Will children ruin relationship? 
