How Can I Make My Teenager Stay In?

Teenagers need to socialise with their friends and they also need a lot of sleep and time for study. They also need time with you. Obviously going out with friends too frequently means there is not enough time and energy left for these other important activities. Teens might disagree with these ideas but parents who try and keep connected with their teens through limiting their time away from home and keeping up shared activities (e.g. even if it is just eating together or washing-up together afterwards) know this time together helps enormously. It encourages parents and teens to listen to each other and learn about each other and this helps build and maintain mutual respect. You can only successfully get your teens to obey agreed rules if you have this kind of relationship. Ruling through fear and threat alone is a dead end strategy not least because teenagers cannot be physically restrained like toddlers. A lot of them are bigger and stronger than their parents and even if you could use force legally do you really want to have your discipline reduced to a physical fight? You cannot force your teen to stay at home but you can build the kind of relationship that makes them feel as if they want to do the right thing by you. Negotiate some agreed staying in times (with exceptions for special events) and stick to agreed rules yourself. They will not always do it (and resisting your authority is a normal part of growing up) but if you stay connected to your teen you will be amazed at the power you do have to influence their behaviour.

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