How Do I End It?

I would have a long serious talk with him.I would tell him how you feel.There is no sense in going on if your miserable.Tell him that you did move to make sure you and he would make a go of it but it didn't work.That you at least tried.Life is too short to not be with the one that makes you happy.
As for how to make him feel as if he is not "out in the cold"...there is no real ....sure answer.But talking to him and sharing your feelings is a start.Try to make it as pleasant as possible.He is human,and something like this is never easy for either party.
Good luck!

Thanks for  the advice. I've been giving him hints, but you are right. He is grown and I should be too. He deserves an honest answer and a chance to move on.

The problem that I have with telling him is that everytime that something in live gets too hard he lies on the couch for a few days and say that it is my fault that he is still alive.  That he was all prepared to die with his dog and that I made him want to live.

I  do not know if I've  believed his talks of death  in the past, but I do not want to live the rest of my  life thinking that I was the reason that he did something stupid.

What would you do? Even if I wont get with the man of my dreams, I want to stop having to force someone to work even a few times a month to at least pay for his own  upkeep.

He had this relationship with his last two wives. We are obviously "enablers" huh?  In order to living an more mature life I am going to  have to cut him lose to fend for himself.