How Do I Tell My Mother-in-law To Back Off Without Coming Off As A B....?
Due to our financial situation, my husband and I are living @ his step-fathers basement until we can afford our own place. His mother comes to visit everyday and comes downstairs w/no warning. Shes come down in the middle of me and my husband in "the act". She also wants to know everything me and my husband do from what we did that day to what we ate and where and why. How do I nicely ask her for some space and privacy w/out looking like the villain?
3 Answers - Sort by: Date | Rating
The short answer is - you can't. If she is going to take it from anyone, it will be from her son (your husband). The first thing he absolutely MUST do, is ask her if she could please knock and wait for an answer before coming in. If she doesn't take any notice of that, you need to fit a lock or bolt to the door, because frankly, she is being very abusive in that behaviour - treating your husband like a child and treating you like you're not even there.
Any woman who treats her adult son like that needs a serious talking-to in my opinion. You don't just barge into someone else's room uninvited unless you are either hoping to see them doing something personal, or hoping to prevent them from ever doing anything personal. If your husband's stepfather behaved like that, you'd be right in thinking he was a bit sexually perverted. Same goes for her, I'm afraid (but don't say that to your husband - not unless you want to alienate the entire family!).
Any woman who treats her adult son like that needs a serious talking-to in my opinion. You don't just barge into someone else's room uninvited unless you are either hoping to see them doing something personal, or hoping to prevent them from ever doing anything personal. If your husband's stepfather behaved like that, you'd be right in thinking he was a bit sexually perverted. Same goes for her, I'm afraid (but don't say that to your husband - not unless you want to alienate the entire family!).
2
0
Thanks but I've told my husband to talk to her and she just ignores him....
Right - well in that case, when you're in your basement room together, put something against the door, or fix it so that opening it will be a lot of hassle for her, if not impossible. Then when she complains about it, say 'we are having a private discussion, We'll come out and talk with you when we've finished.' Then don't go out for at least an hour. She needs to be re-trained, like a naughty dog or child. Have a word with her husband, and maybe he can get her to understand that you need some privacy and independence, and that knocking on the door and waiting to be let in, is only common courtesy. Maybe he might agree to put a lock on the door for you.
Hey Angel, well I don't think I can answer your question directly but I can offer some advice. If you have to say something that might hurt her feelings do it now when you aren't quite to your breaking-point. Chances are if you wait, you will blow and say something a lot more hurtful than you intended. Good Luck!:)
1
0
Try and just explain to her that she might walk in one day that she might come in one day and you are changing your clothes and she doesn't want to see that and then just calmly explain to her that so that we can prevent that from ever happening that she should knock just incase you and your husband are in the act you could always just say 1 minute we are changing or just briefly explain that you need space just in your own room in your own living space
0
0
- Which Member Of The Royal Family Was Famous Within The Renaissance Period?
- What Is Ben J's Son Name?
- What Rules Must A Muslim Follow On Hajj?
- What Do Peple Eat In Africa At Christmas?
- Who Was The Brother Of Moses As Egyptian?
- Where Should We Choose To Live, Norfolk Or Suffolk?
- What Will Be Exact Situation Of My Family In This Life?
- How Do I Ignore My Brother That Has Real Problems?
- How Does Slope Relate To Everyday Life?
- What Type Of Families Are There?
- How To Write And Give An Example Of An Autobiography In A Persons Life When He Or She Achieved In Life?
- When A Mom And Dad Fall In Love... They Bone And Make Babies?
- How Did George Washington`s Life Story Influence Abraham Lincoln?
- Has The Crack Law Passed?
- What Does The Family Name Johnson Mean?
- What Is Coppers Polarity?
- My Defacto Husband Is Dying And What Are My Rights?
- Is The Area 51 Story Is True Or Is It Fake?
- How Do You Go Out With Somebody With Your Mom Or Dad Know?
- Where To Sims Life Story?
- Can You Send Me To A Free Site To Locate A Family Member That In The Calif. Prisons?
- What Questions Does Pearl Ask Her Mother? Why Does This Trouble Hester?
- Can I Find Mt Husband?
- Can I Move Out Legally At 16 In AL?
Featured Question
New Comment - Comments are editable for 5 min.