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    mrsb2u

    Is My Husband Being Fair In His Request? After A Lengthy Illness My Father In Law Passed Away.

    I was told that his mother wanted only him to come out for the funeral. Now she wants to come back to the states to stay with us for 2 months. I suggested a furnished apartment close to our home. He said, "that's not what she had in mind". She's a very controlling woman and the thought of her staying with us makes me very concerned for the health of our 2 year marriage. She's in good health. Do you think I am being unreasonable? How do I explain my feelings to hubby without causing a fight?

    asked 11 months ago

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    wordy

    What a painful dilemma for both of you. However, there is maybe one factor which could make it easier to decide what to do: It's the fact that your mother in law asked only your husband to come to the funeral. Unless there are other factors you didn't mention, it doesn't sound like she sees you as one of the family - in which case she has no right to treat your house as her own. On the other hand of course it's difficult for you to be harsh with someone who has just lost her husband...

    Is any compromise possible? Eg, could you manage to have her for a few weeks while she finds a nice place nearby? If she is very controlling, it's easy to imagine that you couldn't really live with her for 2 months...but if she is really grieving and you find you get on better, then it might work out so she can stay longer after all. But in your place I would also see finding her an apartment as the eventual goal. And your husband doesn't really have the option of letting his mother control your life, even if she has tended to control his.

    Very best wishes to you all.

    answered 10 months ago   

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