Can You Tell Me Some Funny Jokes?

A polar bear walks into a bar.
The bartender says "What'll you have?"
The polar bear says ".... Uh, a beer"
The bartender says "why the long pause?"
The polar bear says "always had them"(raises his paws)

So, a dog gets his sherriff's badge. He walks into the western saloon and says " IM LOOKIN FER THE DUDE THAT SHOT MY PAW"....(PA)

A man is looking outside of his window. He sees 2 municipality workers outside. The first guy would dig a hole then the second one would fill it up again. The man seeing that this was a pointless exercise, decided to ask the first guy what they were doing.

The man replied "I dig wholes and Sam here fills them up. Johnny, who puts the trees in the holes is off sick today."

GET IT??

Ummm this made me laugh it's called wanna take the stupid test ok let me start
             A guy died in his manchin on a sunday morning so the police man asked the guys 4 maids the maids said
1. I didnt do it i was washing the dog
2.i didnt do it i was getting the mail
3.i didnt do it i was buying a house
4.i didnt do it i was at the store
Which maid did it?
                      The second maid did it theres no mail on sundays

Ok so there was a guy in a convertible driving and a blond in the passenger seat the guy goes" hey can you check if the blinker is working?" the blond sticks her head out th e window and goes "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no"

HA HAHA

Ok here's 1 it's kinda corny so ill tell you 2 "what do you do when a blondie throws a grebade at you?"    "i dunno what?"   you pull out the pin then throw it back

Well, it is not a joke, but here goes:

who are you and how did you get here?!?! I'm a locksmith and i uhh...uhh..

Ok so there was a guy in a convertible driving and a blond in the passenger seat the guy goes" hey can you check if the blinker is working?" the blond sticks her head out th e window and goes "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no"

HA HAHA

(ok here one) How do you kill a blonde....you put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool.

A little boy is playing by a pond. He sees a porta-potty and thinks just for a laugh he'll tip it into the pond. So he goes and pushes it into the murky water and then runs away. At dinner, the boy's father tells the story of how George Washington cut down his father's cherry tree but because he told the truth, he wasn't punished. The little boy feels guilty and tells his dad what he did at the pond. Suddenly, his father pulls him out of his chair and starts spanking him. "Wait, Dad!" he yells. "George Washington told the truth about cutting down the cherry tree and his dad didn't spank him!" "Yeah! But George's dad wasn't in the tree when he cut it down!"