Does Anybody Feel The Same Way I Feel?

Courtneyk makes a good argument for the need to live your life for yourself first. I've seen many people try to fit into expectations set on them from society, family, employer, and "friends". and they are never truly happy. You need to be true to yourself.
I always said it was like forcing yourself to wear a suit that doesn't fit. You feel conspicuous, self-conscious, unable to relax or get comfortable; tugging and pulling to make it fit until you are downright miserable. Being this miserable creates self-doubt, anxiety, and affects your personality possibly leading you to lash out at others and drive people away or become withdrawn. It's too much pressure to fit into someone else's beliefs.
I gave up a lot of myself when I got married to a man who saw me beside him in his life, supporting his goals and sharing his happiness. He really didn't like my music, made me refrain from mentioning my spiritual beliefs, was too tired or miserable to sit and talk by a campfire, and didn't like people dropping by unannounced (it was always a bad time when someone called) So I had no friends, didn't go to church, got headphones and sat by the campfire alone for thirty years. Not long ago my daughter told me when she was younger she wondered why I didn't get a divorce, able to see joy in my actions when he was not around. I felt like a coward before!
You're young and social and peer pressure is impossible! I hated being told to "ignore it" by someone who suggested they marry so she could quit school and leave home! But as hard as it may seem, if you truly don't care, people lose interest in your picadillies in search of a more excitable victim. But if you are focused on a goal and make your life around it, you truly won't think about them.
Why is it so vital for you to be in this group of friends. You obviously gained entry as a member - so what did you give, take, or do to get them to shuffle apart enough to let you in and why did you fight to retain your status so hard so long? Were you so unfulfilled before?
Think about your life separate from everyone and everything else. What do you want to do more than anything else? Who was your absolute favorite person. What do you enjoy doing? Now why aren't you doing these things? Trust me this may seem so incredibly important right now but, it really is a small clip of time in your whole life.
People respond well to someone who's genuine. It makes you look trustworthy, confident, and grounded. Let us know how you make out.

I'm glad I'm not the only person that feels this way. Believe me it is a miserable life but that is the only life I know. I've being doing this now for basically all my live, since I was a child. I would love to do it. Go out and meet new people and have new experiences. You will not believe me how much I long to have fund and do what I want to do. To have no pressure but there is always a but. Where do you meet new people? You meet them in clubs and in all my live I've never even being in one club. I will feel completely out of place and everybody would see me a mill away because I won't fit in and then there is my live and work. I can't just go out and do this because there is a lot of politics involved in everything I do. This is when you which you had a friend like you to take you to places where you can meet other people and do other things at least they will know what they are doing. Thanks for your help.

Wandawhy you are so right it is like wearing a suit that doesn't fit and in my case it's figuratively and literally that I have to wear that suit, and it feels like I'm getting strangled by it. Well I never take out my moods on people in general but i get to do it in court cases then I take it out all my frustrations on the guilty party which is nice in a way and I think that, that's the thing that makes me so good in my job. The one thing that I never do is to withdraw I'm far too competitive to do that. I feel so sorry for you. I thought I had a horrible life but yours were ten times worse then mine. You had no live. You see that's my problem I started to build my live around my career and now I have to live. Why is it so vital, because they help me with my political goals? What did a give up for this (membership) my live, my self being, my husband and not having children. I wanted to keep my status because I like the glamour, the money and the power but that is not all that live is about and now i would give anything to have a normal live. I weren't unfulfilled before, the problem is that I grew up in that live so that's all I know but I got power hungry and now I can't turn back.

If I can have my live over then I would like to live in a normal household. Go to normal schools. Go out with my friends to clubs or go camping and enjoy nature. I would have changed my career and become a nature conservationist and spend my live in nature between the wild life in the buss. Get married to the same man I was married to for 19 years and have children. Maybe just work in an office doing office work because in that way you have a 9 to 5 job and when you walk out of your office you leaf the office at work you don't still take it home as well. Why am I not doing these things? I can't change. I don't know how. I'm too squared to change. this is the only live I know. I which it was so simple to change my live. Well you changed so maybe there is hope for me.

No Charliesma there is nothing wrong with those people. I suppose that my friends are looking out for me in some way its like I said already, its expected of me to associate with certain people and I just want to be with normal everyday people even if it is for one week. I just want to relax and do normal things like sit with friends talking about nonsens, have a drink, play games maybe go to a club to dance. I've never done that before and the kind of parties I go to is always fancy and to get new business. You tell me if that is a live. I start 7 in the morning and then I maybe get home 10 or 10:30 at night. That's also why I got divorced a month ago. I was more with other people that with me husband. That's also why I don't have children. I don't have time to spend with nobody. If I have time then I just want to spend it alone doing nothing. What kind of a live is that?

Cherryvan it sounds like you know what I'm talking about because you've gone through the same thing. Believe me I know what I want out of live. Career wise I'm doing exactly what I want to do. The problem is that it's not so easy to say change friends or meet new people. My problem is that I grew up in a house where we just associated with influential people. That is the only kind of people I know. I've been warned not to speak to certain people and I'm a very friendly person so I know lots of people and like to speak to everybody. I normally go to town alone because people hate going with me because I always end up having to struggle to get to the chops because of everyone that wants to speak to me but I always have someone watching me so the only thing I do is great the people and that's it. I hate it. I've lived this live for 40 years. My job is very politically orientated so I have to always be careful what I do and how I do it because it could damage my political stand in all kinds of ways. I hate it but that's my live and that's the only live i know. I would live to do what I want to do for ones

Tamy I know it has to be rough for a fact and being in the public eye yup they are always waiting and watching for you to mess up........Good Luck to you I wish you privacy and happiness through your journey of life!!!!!!! GOD BLESS

Once more I have to agree with you. I must say I did change my viewpoint a lot and decided to do the things I want and how I want, look I will not do stupid things and irresponsible things but I am doing what I always wanted to do and I am enjoying it and now I am friends with everyone the rich and the normal, haha

Yeah that's great!! =D i was never friends with the rich.. (i mean my age) but im friends with their parents haha i don't know.. I just can't fit in... I am more of a normal person.. Hahaha im happy for you.. Keep it up!! =D