She's done this(suicide) before and i don know really what to do. I told her that i can't love her as much as she wants me, but she refused and left me sadly.
She's too much sad..
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I understand the feelings you have, and it shows how kind you are that you seek advice on how to deal with this kind of thing.
It's perfectly natural to want to do what you can to keep someone you care about from hurting. However, you have to understand that while she is obviously suffering from some form of mental problems (such as chronic depression), what she is doing is a form of emotional blackmail. A person like this thinks that if they threaten to hurt (or even kill) themselves, that they can FORCE you to feel what they want you to feel.
This is usually caused by a general inability to accept that the world (and by association, the people in it) do not always, and WILL not always do exactly what they want them to do. The problem in this situation is hers, not yours.
I understand that you are concerned about her, and that concern should certainly manifest in seeking some sort of help in figuring out how to deal with this person, and her problem. I don't just mean asking folks here what we think, I mean finding a counselor, or possibly her parents. If she has legitimately attempted suicide, her family should know about her current emotional state, and how she has threatened her own life.
You already know that it's not reasonable for you to sacrifice your own happiness for her sake, and that's a good thing.
You just need to accept the fact that nothing SHE does is any fault of yours. Each and every one of us must choose our own path, and if she truly wishes to end her life, she will succeed. However, I'm gonna bet that she just wants to FORCE everyone to feel sorry for (and about) her, as she is completely self-obsessed. This is not healthy, and she needs professional help.
Please discuss this with a counselor (if she's in school), or her parents, or if nothing else, look up a local suicide counselor or group and ask for help from them. They will have a more intimate perspective on the situation, and should be able to help you deal with this.
Once you have gotten the ball rolling, you should be able to step quietly out of the picture, and let her continue with her own life from there.
Just try to remember that just as much as her emotions don't change your own, yours won't change hers. So since you can't change her (that requires HER willingness to change), you simply need to find some way to find some sort of help for her to deal with her issues, then move on. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. You have done nothing wrong, and quite a bit that was very right. You didn't lie to her and tell her you feel the same. You were open and honest, and should not suffer for her problems.
I hope you find some help to deal with this situation, and are able to move on and leave her behind you. You deserve a better friend than someone that would try to use guilt to make you do what they want.
Good luck, and have a good day!
answered 4 months ago
Its not easy for her to stop loving you. You should have not hurt her feelings because she is a girl and breaking a girls heart is a great offence before God.
If she is still talking to you say sorry to her. And tell her that you both can be good friends because friendship is the first step to love. I think you should be with her because an intelligent person has said that we should always live with them who love us. You are lucky and luck is on your way in the form of that girl. Don'T let her go. She is yours. So get her before its too late.
If you have any more questions shout in my shout box.
answered 3 weeks ago
from the looks of things not even you could make her happy,seems as if you said all the things she wishes to hear in time she would be back to square one. I agree professional help is needed even if you go with her a couple of times at least get it started and you have done your part.....Good Luck and Peace
comment made by Bgirl525 4 months ago
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