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I'm A Father Paying An Agreed Amount To Mother Of $430 A Month For Child Support. We Have No Written Agreement And She Won't Sign A Consent Order. What Can I Do?

The mother moved back home with her mom and dad 3 months ago.I have been paying her child support and I have my child on my days off from work.now we have become more distant and to me seems less of a concern to her if I see my child or not.she no longer asks me when my days off are and when i make arrangements with her to pick up my child she sometimes has other things come up last minute and I can't get him.what rights do I have?what can I do?

asked 6 months ago

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OkieGranny

You have paid by check and written in the memo portion 'for child support" haven't you? Do not tell me that you have been giving her cash, please, unless you've received a written receipt every time. One thing that is THE MOST IMPORTANT you will ever learn: If it's not documented, it didn't happen. You need a lawyer who specializes in family matters or father's rights. This child support order needs to be court mandated. Sometimes people feel that keeping the courts out of their business is in their best interest. Unfortunately it leaves you without recourse. Remedy it immediately or you're really going to be up a creek. And sir, I really commend you for taking care of this on your own so far, but you must protect yourself and your child. She is probably a good mom, but heaven knows what may happen.

answered 6 months ago

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thanks okiegranny for your response.absolutely i've paid by check and have photo copies through my bank of all returned checks with her signature.memoed also for child support payment.I have it all nicely organized in a three ring binder and in order by date.my attorney wanted to right a consent order based on what a judge would order if we were to go to court.the advantage is no court.he would take it to a judge and have him sign off on it.better for her she would recieve around $480 a month instead of the $430 i'm paying her now.the problem i believe is she wants to be in control.she definately doesn't like the split in holidays that would be part of the consent.also the uninterupted 2 weeks I would have with him during the summer.I know a consent order can be what ever you want it to be as long as both agree.but if it came down to a judge this would be what he would do.anyway,since she won't sign i've called my attorney to see what to do next.of course he won't call back.or is never in the office.his paralegal the only one I can talk to has no answers and suggest I come in and pay for another consulation at $200 a pop.so should I just go to dss or some place and ask them where do I go to sign up for child support?my step mom laughs at me when I say that,she says i'm probably the only guy in the world who would want to volunteerly sign up for child support..:)thanks again.

comment made by Shakybaby 6 months ago Report

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thanks okiegranny for your response.absolutely i've paid by check and have photo copies through my bank of all returned checks with her signature.memoed also for child support payment.I have it all nicely organized in a three ring binder and in order by date.my attorney wanted to right a consent order based on what a judge would order if we were to go to court.the advantage is no court.he would take it to a judge and have him sign off on it.better for her she would recieve around $480 a month instead of the $430 i'm paying her now.the problem i believe is she wants to be in control.she definately doesn't like the split in holidays that would be part of the consent.also the uninterupted 2 weeks I would have with him during the summer.I know a consent order can be what ever you want it to be as long as both agree.but if it came down to a judge this would be what he would do.anyway,since she won't sign i've called my attorney to see what to do next.of course he won't call back.or is never in the office.his paralegal the only one I can talk to has no answers and suggest I come in and pay for another consulation at $200 a pop.so should I just go to dss or some place and ask them where do I go to sign up for child support?my step mom laughs at me when I say that,she says i'm probably the only guy in the world who would want to volunteerly sign up for child support..:)thanks again.

soundman

Shakybaby: I haven't heard back from you. I'll presume things are not okay. YES-document everything/keep a journal for the places you go to (and when). Receipts don't hurt.
You are to be admired for paying up front. I did the same for years and all of a sudden a court order came my way saying I 'HAD' to pay child support and do so through Domestic Relations. Believe it or not I managed to pull out of the court system and I received a statement saying I no longer have to go through the courts....what ticked me off though is I double-paid because Domestic Relations would not refund any overpayment/overlaps where I was sending funds to both the Mom and them. I can say it remains the most draining experience I've had but it ended on a note. Be honest ALWAYS with your child...and don't make accusations when you're together. Keep your relationship as YOUR RELATIONSHIP the best way you can and it will help the child adjust...and it will help you survive as well. As for your other half-let her see the good you do and if possible enroll your child in a program that involves you both, be it the YMCA or whatever. Create memories that will last forever.

answered 5 months ago

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To clarify "You Both" I mean you and your child.

comment made by Soundman 5 months ago Report

angellove

Did you guys are Divorced? Or were living together? Anyways I know that you can not take a child out of the state without the other parent authorization.Yoshould have done all this by court because It gets to a point that when is no Law involved we take advantage off the situation.I hope that you're keeping a proof off the money you're giving her.I will find a Lawyer in Family Law practice.

answered 6 months ago

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I'm A Father Paying An Agreed Amount To Mother Of $430 A Month For Child Support. We Have No Written Agreement And She Won't Sign A Consent Order. What Can I Do?

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