My Childhood?

Hi queen_13,

It seems to me that you must find it in your heart to forgive all those who bullied you; only then will you find any peace.  Good luck.

Well, I was bullied up until my 9th year of schooling... In fifth grade, I attempted suicide twice.  Now, I am a happy individual with a loving family and a decent life!  
There are several factors that helped me to get over my abuse from my peers. 1) Their treatment of me helped me to become very self reliant. 2)I had learned that despite their verbal and sometimes physical abuse, I was still strong enough to become my own person. 3) I learned confidence in myself, since no one else would ever "back me up". 4) Although I forgave those people (to a point) I do not and will not associate with them ever again.  Every time I get a reunion card, I send it back with a hand written note asking to be removed from their mailing list since I was not a part of their community then by their choice, I choose not to be a part of it now.
You need to sit down and look at your strengths.  From what I read here, it looks like you excelled academically... But see no benefit?  I might have interpreted that wrong.  However, my point still stands.  You must realize that despite the heck these people put you through, you are still here, and you DO MATTER!  You need to immerse yourself into the things you enjoy, and find others that share your likes.  Act confidently, and soon true confidence will follow.  If you mess up???  So what.  I do all the time and I am the first one to point it out and laugh about it before others get the chance... Then I MAKE it right!  
I know it sounds like a bunch of rhetorical psycho-babble, but it is true.  If you act confident in yourself, others will see you that way and treat you that way, then you will feel that way.
Hope this helps.

There is good and bad that comes from everything. Sometimes it is very difficult seeing the good but it is there. I am guessing that you have learned how bad it hurts to be bullied. It probably also taught you how to deal with those type of people. Your right, it has dominated your life but somehow you have to try to see the good and let the bad go as much as possible chalking it up as a learning experience that you want to forget.