What To Do If You Fall In Love With A Married Man?

Whether you are married or not, falling in love with a married man (or woman for that matter) is simply a bad idea, and yet it happens time and time again. Of course, you can't help who you fall in love with; it may be something that through circumstances and time you have found just happened.

You now have a real predicament on your hands and a certain amount of personal pain to endure whichever direction you choose in this matter. If you are already in a relationship yourself, then you perhaps owe it to your partner to forget about this other individual. If falling for someone else has highlighted a problem with your own relationship, your time would be better spent trying to sort that out instead.

If you are not currently in a relationship, then falling for someone who is married can only go one of three ways

1. You will date each other for a while and after the excitement of the fact that this is an affair and the added element that you are doing something naughty has worn off, it will come to a natural end. If you are in relationships, this will only happen if you never get found out!

2. One of you will fall in love and want to take it to the next stage, but the other will never leave their partner - but may promise too. Quite often, people find that affairs make their own sex life more interesting.

3. You will find that you are both in the wrong relationship at the moment and separate from your existing partners and start a real relationship together.

Of course, in any early stages of a relationship the feelings are really strong and the sex is exciting. However, splitting a couple up and having an affair could be a painful experience and probably not just for you. Don’t forget that the person you have fallen for already has a spouse - perhaps kids at home too and then you have a whole new element to think about.

If the guy doesn’t know that you have a thing for him, it’s probably best to leave it that way. Try to focus on your own relationships and the things that are happening in your own life. There is no doubting the impact an affair of this nature would have on your own state of mind.

Think seriously, about the effects this could have on everyone involved, and ask yourself, Would this just be for a bit of fun? Or can you imagine every day and night with this person, holidays, good times, bad times...awful times? The course of true love never runs smooth and sometimes people just want what they cant have. Consider all of this, then pause, consider your future, and theirs and go with what feels right, just remember that some things can't be undone if you regret it.

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Anonymous 91% helpful

Run..He is unhappy but still married. He maybe getting the best of both worlds with you in the picture. You did not state what in his marriage is making him unhappy. If it is financial unhappiness how happy would you be with him if he left his wife today. Bills must be paid and depending upon the life style you envision for yourself you will quickly become unhappy. If he is unhappy with his sex life within the marriage,then he is using you to get what he is missing and that type of happiness is short lived. For him the greens appears greener on the other side. If you love yourself don't sell yourself short! When he is drama free and his divorce is finalized then and only then should you explore a relationship. Until then he gets you and in the meantime he has the possibility to work things out with his wife...then where would you be. You deserve better holdout for it!

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Anonymous 100% helpful

I did fall madly in love with a married man. That was and sort of is my story still. We first got together uncontrollably, and the day after they're period of separation began we had sex the first time. It was very rough from that point until the point that the divorce was in fact final. But, we made it through. However, I will be honest with you. Jealousy you will find will eventually become your second nature. Like it or not. He deals with hell sometimes due to it. A lot of times I find I am miserable because of it. But, even with all the horrible times and of coarse the good. Yes I would undoubtedly do it all over again. But, I will advise that you get out of it, if a divorce does not begin to be in the works. Or they become separated. If either one of those does not happen then he's really not that serious about you at all.

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Anonymous 82% helpful

Well how long has he been married? Was it a love marriage or arranged one? If it was a love marriage, you should be asking him why is he unhappy, what does make him feel happy with you?
If he is bound to leave legally his wife for you, then go for it, otherwise if he is hesitating then do not hesitate in leaving him. Don't waste your time..
P.S my little advice, yesterday he was in love with his wife,today he is in love with you,what about tomorrow?? Just be careful !

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Anonymous 86% helpful

One can never help who they fall in love with, but a married man, although separated, will not be wanting another full on relationship. Extricate yourself and through distance, you will come to realise that your love for yourself is more important than dealing with relationship failure in the long term (because there won't be a long term). Reject the rejector now - it will hurt but not as much as it would hurt you if you continue the sham! I should know, been there, done that. Hedonistic and lovely at first and then they don't want any more and can't or won't give you what it is you need. Don't waste your time, go and get someone who will love you for you. But most of all, do yourself a favour, love yourself, be yourself and don't change for any man. Know that you deserve love, but first love yourself and be confident in the knowledge that you deserve unconditional and real love from someone who will desire you the way you had always dreamed of. It will happen, and time is a great healer (I know that's a cliche, but it is true!).

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Penny Kay 80% helpful

Get out of the relationship, as if that man had a bomb strapped in his underwear. When they say the man rarely leaves his wife, that my friend is all too true. He will keep you hanging on and you will have no life, while he has his cake and eats it too. Don't believe anything he tells you. He is a liar. That is what they do. You will spoil your life away for the dogeared shreds of time that she allows you to have. She will be the controlling factor, believe me. Been there, done that. Spent Holidays, weekends, Birthdays etc....alone and what did I get for it. I felt like a closet freak since he could not publicly socialize with me. I cried myself to sleep many a night. I got tired of being treated like a whore, while the wife got first class treatment, and I said "Self are you totally desperate or are you insane". I ended it and have not regretted it a day since. Take the advice from the guy who said Love yourself more and get your self a real life!....*p

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Anonymous 100% helpful

Very possible. It happens all the time. Maybe though she just yearns for a man like him. She see's a man happy, with being married who looks after things like a man should. Good to his partner, good with his kids. Helps out and provides.
It is what most women would want in a partner. It might be just his character she yearns. The perfect man and younger. Even better.
It's not clear whether you are asking as the Older Woman or the Married Man but I suppose the answer would do either way.
The only thing I would add, is if for some reason something came of this. That the man left his wife and and maybe kids. There is every chance he would leave this new woman just as easy.

Hope this helps.

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Anonymous 67% helpful

Well for number one you should not be in love with a married man. That is just wrong. He is already committed to someone through legal marriage and you should not help him to destroy his household. He needs another puppet for that. You should love yourself enough not to fall for the tall tales of any married man because it is wrong. I am not judging you but there are plenty of single men out there. If you were someone's wife how would it make you feel if your husband was fooling around? It cannot be justified. You should move on with your life because if he cheats on his wife who he is committed to then who are you? Just think like and adult and you will be all right.

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