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I Would Like To Find My Son But Don't Know How To Do This, Can Someone Help?

Leaving him was the hardest thing i did in my life now, he's about 25 and i really would like to see how he is doing.

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    Wow... That's a toughie. You don't say whether or not you gave him up for adoption, or just relinquished your parental rights to your ex-spouse. It's an important difference.
    If he was adopted, there are agencies that will take down all the pertinent information you have about your son, and if it's enough, will contact him (assuming they can find him) and let him know you are interested in seeing him. However, you need to understand that it's still his decision as to whether he wants to see YOU.
    Yes, giving up a child is usually one of the hardest things for a parent to do, and while it may well have been in the child's best interests, you still have relinquished ALL rights you had to him and his life.
    So you also need to be ready to face the fact that he may not want to see you, for whatever reason he may feel. They're his feelings and you have to respect them. As well, if he was adopted, he may feel it would be a disservice to his adopted parents to see you, and may feel that he CAN'T see you.
    However, you could get lucky enough for your son to be willing to meet with you under controlled circumstances. If so, you may still have a tough row to hoe, as he may have harbored a great deal of resentment toward you, and feel like you just 'threw him away'... And demand that you tell him why you never came back for him, if you care so much.
    I know these are painful thoughts, but having seen an acquaintance of mine go through these exact issues (her mother had apparently painted him in very bad colors as she grew up, and so she did not want anything to do with him... Wouldn't even talk to him.
    But if you are ready to face that kind of rejection, and still want to try to pursue finding him, you may want to start by contacting a family law firm, and seeing if they have any suggestions as to where to go to find assistance. And you will need assistance.
    Good luck, and keep positive.
    1 0

    Asuka_jr 

    answered 2 years ago

         
         

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