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    I Got Married At 20 Years Old And Still Married. We Have Been Having Major Problems' From Calling Names, Getting Very Anrgy And I Feel We Are Going Down Hill Very Fast. Please Don't Say Seek Therapy. He In No Would Do This. I Need Help. I Am Getting Depressed. I Started To Stand Up For Myself Approx 5 Years Ago, Is This Okay?i Just Need Some Advice.

    asked 1 year ago

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    When you talk about standing up for yourself, this indicates that you in some way felt repressed. As a male and married 25 years. I have heard my wife use the same phrase to me. By this she means getting her own way more often. Now, this surprised me because I thought she was happy enough as things were. But not so. I came to realize that our needs change along with our opinions and how we see things. I felt myself getting a bit depressed as did my wife. So we both agreed to try something new. We wrecked our brains thinking about what we could do but we couldn't agree. As a practicing catholic divorce is not an issue, so we tried breaking our routines by doing our own thing . I would go to the pub and she would go for a meal. I would go to bingo and she would stay a night in her sisters. But we both agreed that we had to spend one full day a month doing something together. During the month we would do at least one shop per week as a family and dine out on that day. Things became much better and if we have the money we seem to do things together more often. Good luck

    answered 1 year ago

    I think 'being right', can be very lonely. I think you both need to decide what's more important; being right, having your way, or putting the relationship first. If the concentration is on what is right, then you both stand a better chance of the relationship being one of respect and trust. Right now, you guys are destroying your foundation and you need to decide if that is what you both want.
    I got married at 17 and I'm 54. We divorced for 15 years and it took that long for us to figure this out. Good luck to you both.

    comment made by Mandeville 2 months ago    Report

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      I've been married for 20 years and I have a good man by my side. Everything isn't perfect and we've had our fair share of differences. We both met in the Navy and I'm retired but my husband is still active duty. I have no idea why you and your husband are having problems but you both need to sit down and figure out what's wrong. If you both love each other and want to stay married you both need to let go of what is bothing you or talk it out. It's very hurtful to call names and put each other down. No wonder your depressed, it's harder to be mad at each other. Just think of all the energy it takes to be fighting and discontent. I hope things work out, don't give up.

      answered 1 year ago

      If you don't stand up for yourself you will continue to be unhappy. If the name calling and fighting makes you unhappy you have the right to either put up with or put a stop to it. Tell your husband "this is unacceptable" Don't allow yourself to be verbally abused and don't sink to the level of doing it yourself.
      When you find yourself in a relationship that is breaking you down, you have the choice to continue in it or leave it.
      Love yourself.

      comment made by Homegirl53 7 months ago    Report

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