What Is Gorilla War Fair?

It is a travesty, it makes me toes curl just thinking about it. To think that the so called 'educated classes' would pay to sit around the edges of a huge arena and watch cigar-smoking gorillas with automatic weapons re-enacting ancient historical battles is wrong on every level. I have made a short list below of the reasons I find it disagreeable:

I) it is anachronistic - automatic weapons are a thing of the late 19th and 20th Century. There were no AKs in the War of the Roses, and no rail guns at the Battle of Hastings - I know this because I have been to the commemoration site and all I saw were swords and shields.
Ii) Gorillas, and the whole ape genome, have never engaged in any kind of organised war fair, nor have they made their services available as mercenaries in any battle of note, and that is historical FACT. Primates have no discipline and that is the backbone of any army
iii) Fair ground candy floss is always overpriced, but you are a 'captive market' so they squeeze you for every drop, much like Ryan Air charging you £1 to use the toilets.

In summary, Gorilla War Fair is historically inaccurate and as a family outing is overpriced. Fox Lungeing, Hamster Hockey or Sloth Racing are a quarter of the price and in my opinion constitute much better value for money.

What i fail to understand is how do those Gorilla's make it fair ? Do they perchance use boxing gloves or perhaps they partake in the war games blindfolded.

Fox Lungeing is far superior, I train mine to take part in front room wrestling, watching them scrabble for purchase on the parquet is truly delightful to behold.