I'm Dating A Married Man And Before You Say I Shouldn't Let Me Just Say, I Already Know. I Have Tried Umpteen Times To Break It Off And, Of Course, I Rightfully Get No Sympathy From Friends. There Are A Number Of Reasons Why It's A Hopeless Situation. Firstly It's Not Very Satisfying For Me. I Am Always Second Best, Waiting Around For Crumbs. Then There's All The Guilt. I Have No Illusion That The Guy Will Leave His Wife As I Know He Loves Her And I'm Just His 'Bit On The Side' So I Feel I'm Wasting My Time When I Could Be Meeting Someone For Myself. For All This I Find I Can't Actually Bring Myself To Make The Break. What's Wrong With Me?

There is nothing wrong with you. You are like so many. We have a place in our lives that need to be fulfilled. But to love another's man is not fulfilling. Please put yourself in the wife's shoes. She may not be the perfect wife, she may be doing the same things but never the less, you she and he and the whole situation is not for us to judge, but to encourage a better walk for all involved. Walk away, have some respect for yourself. You are and will be a better person for doing so. God has forgiven you but you have to ask and ask in faith. You were never lonely, because Jesus is with you always. He would not want you to suffer like this, neither one of you. We always want to please others but put ourselves on the side lines. You deserve better and there is better, stop selling yourself short, take care of yourself and ask God to send you someone and show you a better way, because it is out there and all  you  have to do is faithfully ask. We have not because we ask not. We should do EVERYTHING to stay in line with God's plan and ask for his guidance. Ask yourself does my life style line up with the bible's blueprints and is what I am thinking, doing, or saying pleasing to God and glorifying His kingdom? I promise pray and meditate on His word and earnestly seek His voice and answers and He will give it to you.

It took courage to come on here and share your life with strangers. And you don't need someone else to criticize you. You know, we all need to be loved and how he is loving you is satisfying a need that you have. That is why you are essentially having a hard time breaking it off. It is so hard to see beyond where we are that we hold onto what we have thinking we better do that or we may never have anything at all.

There are other opportunities to be loved, and you are worth loving. I think you already know the answer, but it is very difficult for you. It's OK. I have faith that you ultimately will do the right thing. Take care.

I think this is about security. Knowing you have something with this guy makes you know you have something, I think you are afraid to bring yourself to end it because you're afraid to be out there on your own.
I think you should break it off, find yourself a decent man!! Do not stand for second best! break it off, start again, find someone who will make you their number 1 cos every woman deserves that!! Hope this helps x

I have been in the same situation. Its really difficult when you know the truth...i.e. he loves his wife, he will never leave her, you are his bit on the side. It makes you feel worthless and breaks your self esteem and confidence. This in turns then makes you feel powerless which then stops you from breaking it off because you believe you need him and cant live without him. I gave mine an ultimatum in my darkest hour, when I could no longer take the pain. Leave her or its over. I knew what the answer would be, and for weeks I thought my world had crashed. But things got better and I kept myself busy with hobbies and even find new ones. Soon the pain started healing. You deserve to be happy with a man of your own. It wont be easy to leave if you decide to do it, but you could make finding happiness the reason for doing it, and then it all has real meaning. Good luck.

I think you are perfect in your love. There is nothing to disrespect you or criticize you for what you are doing. You have love for a man in your heart. Love is sacred, love is pure. it is love that makes us all elevated to the level of heavenly height making us different from our everyday earthly existence. So, no one has the right to say you bad if it is love from within your heart. If you are happy with being the "second " who on this earth has the right to preach that you are doing wrong? First be clear to yourself, are you happy with being his second? Is that that man is just using you to fulfil his lust? Or he has also a descent heart, he really loves you but he can't leave his wife because he has certain responsibilities, children and commitments? If both of your love is true, do not suffer from any guilt feelings. I don't know the age difference between two of you. If the age gap is not substantial, i would certainly advise to keep it up (again if it is a true love between two of you and you are sure that it is not merely a fulfilling sensual appetite for your counterpart). if the age gap is substantial, can't you gradually depart physically from that Mr. senior and try to find the Mr. Right for you? Some say that husband and wife are created in heaven. So you must have your own husband too. You only need some time to find him.

This is very natural that our heart craves for someone without bothering the consequences. We love the next person and just love and nothing else, our feelings never give us space to think about the other aspects of the relation. You are in a very critical situation, but the good part of your feelings and relation is that you know that the other person loves his wife and will never leave her then why are you mortifying your sacred love? You no doubt truly love him, but does he love you in the same manner. Love is the blessing and sometime we must have to sacrifice our feelings and even our own self. This is very hard to leave the person you love but try to do it for the survival of that man, his wife, kids and in fact your own self.

If he does not love her wife or her wife also has some sort of disputes with him then the situation is different, but not now. Now he is the man of his wife not of yours (as you also know that). You might be having some very good man waiting for your pure love. Put aside your entire consecrated feelings for him. If you try to avoid that man just for the sake of his wife and kids then you will see that with the passage of time you will be settled happily.

To all of those who started preaching God this, God that!  Please!  Is judging this woman God-like?  No!  Leave her alone!  This is a crummy situation to be in, and unfortunately only time will tell.  I feel for her, and understand what she is going through.  We love who we love.  Believe me, it is easier said than done.  She is not going to go to hell for being human.  She likes a married man!  Wow, that's a first!  Believe me, it's not, and you know she will not be the last to be involved in this triangle.  She will know when to let go if that day indeed comes.  The man may actually leave his wife.  We are not pinned to the ones we choose to marry.  Marriage is just a piece of paper and is not written in stone.  People divorce everyday.  There have been those who had affairs and found the love of their lives through the other person.  Let her be.  She will figure this out on her own.  She is not really asking for advice, she is venting.  She knows the seriousness of this situation and will deal with the consequences.  Loving or caring for a married man is not wrong.  We are human, and this happens everyday.  We know it is not something we should look forward to doing, but it does happen anyway.  I know!  She will reach a decision on her own!  We all do!

I utterly understand, and have been in a similar position, until very recently.  You are not looking for these people's opinions, as you are already quite clear in the fact that you don't agree with this situation moralistically.  You are already aware of the harm this would cause to a wife who doesn't deserve it.  The difficulty is to separate your emotional, heart-driven path, with someone you have a wonderful relationship with, from that or your longterm well being, which requires you to be more hard, and selfish in a different more long-term positive way.  This is almost like advising myself.  

What you are going through is very very very very bad. Get out of it, break up with him, do something about it before it gets any further. Don't take the guy away from his wife and kids, no matter how sweet and nice your relation with him, it will not be enough when you see the blame in his children's eyes. You are obviously not happy and he is just using you, playing around doing the guy thing but if you really love him, let him go.

I'm also in love with a married man, we have been involved for 3 1/2 years, about a 1 1/2 year into the relationship I became pregnant but chose to have an abortion because I had 2 children from a previous marriage, this hurt him really badly because he was unable to have children with his wife and he cried a lot because his dream was to be a father but I couldn't ask him to leave his wife for me just because I was pregnant, I had gotten married because I had gotten pregnant and I knew what kind ot strain that puts in a relationship. He tell me everything that's going on with wife I'm his best friend and lover. I know that every married man say that they don't love their wives but I know for a fact with him this is true but for him to leave his wife would mean to lose everything he worked for in his life and I couldn't ask that of him, as for me my kids keep me busy enough so I don't need a regular relationship I simply don't have the time for it, so I am happy like this with my married man. For those who are going to criticise me don't bother I knew what I getting myself into and I made that decision.

Nothing's wrong with you darling. It sounds like you are in need of love, you have little support and to settle for crumbs is better than nothing at all. This is part of your journey. You will work it out and know what to do in time. He is fulfilling a need at the moment so just go with it, learn from this experience. I do not judge you for i am also with a mm of 4years. He has been brought into your life for a reason. Enjoy the crumbs for now and time will bring you the right answer. No body knows your full situation. I can fully understand why you can't make the break. Try to not let the guilt get to you. It's ok to be here at this time of your life. You need it for now. It will make you so much more of an understanding person and one day someone will need the comfort you can give them as a result of your current experience. It's all good. Go with the flow and be patient.

I too am dating a married man and love it.  I have tried dating single men and they are all dating several woman so I get what  I need when I want it and don't care.

Would you really be happy to just be someone's 'bit on the side'?  You need to decide why you are involved with this man in the first place, whether it is something about him that you like, or the fact that you find being involved with a married man giving you some psychological satisfaction.  If it is something about him, then you can just as easily find another person with those qualities, but are not involved in a relationship.  If it is being involved with a married man, then you are aready aware of the possible consequences, and you just need to decide if you want to be in control and break this up before it gets any further, or wait until something eventually uncovers the truth.  Either way, you'll have to endure some serious emotional rollercoaster, but it is probably better to be in control rather than letting things slide.

I don't mean to be rude but: it seems like your heart is overruling your brain, think logically! How long have you known him personally? Will it be worth all your efforts to get together? Don't you think that if he feels in the same way, surely he would divorce his wife to marry you? I think you might want to speak to a counsellor about this personally. As I can see already it has opened up a flood of other people's opinions.

Let go...and Let God. Ask God to fill the emptiness you are obviously feeling. He Loves you...just the way you are. All he asks is that you give up this adultrous way and let Him take over and fill this void. Jesus loved you so much that he opened his arms and died for you so you can have a relationship with God and be his child.
It took my daughter's best friend having a baby to make her realize that she had a problem with sex. In realizing this she gave it all up to God and  has been celebit for over a year. Simply put by her... "I asked God to forgive me, fill the void I had tried to fill with sex, and to be the love of my life until he sends me the man he wants me to be with for life."
Don't waste your time and don't risk a pregnancy just for the sake of being "loved".  This is not love. True Love happens within the realms of the marital bed only. This is the only sex God Blesses. It is a Holy act between a man and a woman in the hopes of working with God to create new life. It is also symbolic of the love Christ has for his Church, the Body of Believers who will become his Bride at his 2nd coming.
I will be praying for you.

Stop thinking we're horrible people who prey on married man for a living, most of us are just normal people who never in their lives thought about being in a situation like this, I know I didn't I was in a very vulnerable situation going trough my divorce and this man was very caring and supportive, we would talk for hours, he would listen to me like nobody ever did in my life. For a long time I fought these feelings for him, I would tell myself what if I was his wife how would I feel if my husband was cheating on me. But it happened and I don't regret it, he loves me and I love him more than I ever loved any other man before. I know if he was happy at home he wouldn't be with me for all this time, so I know it's not just sex either. I'm not looking for nobody sympathy, I just thought that people shouldn't criticize me and others in the same situation without knowing what the heck they're talking about.

Well i feel for you and you need to be more about you dont be nobodys seconds that married guys a jerk let him go and get some help!!!! K i wish you well!!!!

Okay girl, I am about to take some heat off of you when all these "holier-than-thous" get a load of what I'm tossing their way.  I am a married woman who for quite some time has been seeing a married man.  I am not looking to break up anyone's home, marriage, or family.  We are very discreet, and we are very real about what this is and where it is going.  What this is: We make each other feel good.  We give each other (when we can) something to smile and daydream about.  I fill a void in his life that his otherwise satisfying marriage and family does not.  He does the same for me.  We are extremely compatible sexually as well as emotionally.  We have many of the same interests, and can talk for hours on just about any subject.  Sometimes when he is with his wife and family, I feel lonely (and maybe a little jealous) for him, and he has told me that he feels the same way for me sometimes.  But we do not pretend that one day we will be together.  Get that.  I love him, I love the way I feel when I am with him and the anticipation of being with him.  He feels the same.  But we don't confuse the love that we have for the kind of love you build a life around.  It is a different kind of love, unlike the love I have felt in any other relationship, including my marriage.  Here's the kicker.  I love my husband too.  I would not hurt him, have no intention of leaving him, and I don't feel that my relationship with my married man does anything to detract from my marriage sexually or emotionally.  Some people just need more than one person in their life.  I am like that, my married man is like that.  
Where this is going: This makes us happy and that is enough.  Should the time come when it is not enough for one or both of us, then we trust each other to be honest and open about our feelings, and we will deal with it.  Neither of us have illusions of leaving our families and spouses, neither offers the other that false hope.  
I guess I am saying that (as contradictory as it sounds) it is all about being honest with each other.  Stop apologizing for loving your married man.  Be honest about what it is and what you want, and don't worry about what other people think.  Life is short, be happy.

You might be what we call a 'love addict'. This term suggests someone who is addicted to a particular person or to the idea of love itself. We probably all have a bit of this condition within us. It's all tied up with the idea of co-dependency which is the in-term around at the moment. What you need to do in order to sever yourself from this man is to take your power back, to be in charge of your own life again.

You don't really expect to get any sympathy do you?
Anyone who enters into a relationship with someone who is married knows that alot of people can get hurt. Few men leave their wives for their lovers although of course some do.
This man isn't going to solve your problem by ending his marriage because he's having his cake and eating it in other words he's enjoying the best of both worlds and being unfair to both you and his wife.
This situation could go on for years and you're wasting all your chances of happiness on the wrong man.
You need to have some self respect and start a new life - no matter how much it hurts you now otherwise you risk a much worse hurt in the future.

You first need to decide if you love this man more than you love yourself... my advice to you would be to get out of the situation before you and him both end up hurting the most innocent unknowing members of this union which would be his family.  I know its harder than it seems but just remember this little phrase I say to my self ... "no matter how terrible it is it will pass" in life we have a lot of terrible moments and when we think about them a little while later we realise how bad they were but they have passed and we are still alive... it's going to be rough but my dear ... it will pass and you will now have a stronger heart to love with.

My you are two kinds of crazy!!!! What are you doing with a married man??? It's such a cliché line to say you can do better but yes... you can do better! Do you enjoy having him tell you he loves you but goes to sleep in the same bed and probably do things with his wife? Honestly you have to respect your self enough to realize that you deserve nothing but the best and to be the one and only. The one thing you must know is that in a life time we are capable of loving more than one guy but there's more than one soul mate so don't despair when one relationship doesn't work. If he really did love you he would have left his wife a long time ago to be with the one he loves.....think about that love. You are worth more than second best so dump his ass. As to why you can't leave, it might be because you are afraid to let go in case you can't find someone else....but then again its better to be alone than to be the mistress.. Its more or less a moral issue. Good luck

We can't help who we fall in love with unfortunately.

I think you deserve better than waiting around for crumbs and I'm sure there is someone out there who would give you their undivided time and attention.

You know the relationship is not going anywhere, so what's the point in it. Change your number, get news friends and go find Mr Right, stay well away from Mr Wrong. It will be hard and expect a lot of heart ache, but just remember YOU DESERVE BETTER !

You know the solution to this problem.  Like Nike says very simply ,'JUST DO IT'.  And in case you're wondering what the solution is 'LEAVE HIM'.Love is blind without a doubt.

You know, all these people have so many opinions of what you should or shouldn't do. I wonder if they are without sin or vices at all.

Sweetie i know what your going through but mine is different. I was told he was getting a divorce. And he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me!!he was selling the house to be with me.
But i rang his wife after being with him for a year!!! And found out he was 'happily married' he was selling the house to move somewhere bigger to start a family with her. He had told me how much he loved me for a year. I fell pregnant and he got wierd he did not want it at all he was really wierd. So obviously i got suspicious, and i was right too.
He told me that he has never loved me he was using me for sex because he was not getting it at home.
His wife is actually really nice and we went for a drink on the day we found out. Lol
but i got paraletic and tried to take an overdose to kill the baby and maybe myself. It didnt work and the MM came and took me away at 1.00am to stop me from doing anything to hurt myself.
His wife kicked him out and he is still trying to get me to have an abortion. I cant do it. And he says he will resent me and probably the baby, but yet he will not leave me alone!!!

Shame on the guy for doing this. He wants his cake and eat it too. Sounds like he has it.how do u know there r not more women? Id leave him. U r worth more than 2nd best.

I am totally sorry but I am going to have to agree with Gwynna.  I mean it is really painful for someone who is a cheat for one and do you know what it can do to that family?  Especially if they have children and that's the worse part.  And he or she is just plain WRONG for what he or she is doing to his or her husband or wife.  Just put yourself in that person's position and think about how it would effect you.  It would hurt very badly.  That's why I am never getting married :(....
I hope that you don't take this the wrong way.  But I seriously know that you need to leave and stop letting him make you feel guilty and stop letting him make you feel like you need him.....
I hope that you will one day find true love...    :)

I been dating a married man for 2 years. You will never be his wife nor will he leave his wife. Im going to be straight out with you. He know you will be there in his beck and call. And actually when he his in the mood. Actually your being used

U r not wrong dear

Your insecure. Tell me what makes him so special sounds like nothing to me he has his cake and eats his ice cream to and to tell you the truth his wife is probably glad when he is not around he is probably a jerk to her and if he gets caught he is going to expect you to put up with him being a jerk to you you my dear are in a no win situation if i were you i would dump him and be laughing all the way to a decent man who you deserve. Ever heard the old saying BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR YOU JUST MAY GET IT

No one can make a person leave another.  And all you married women out there wanting to burn this person alive, you're just spitting out your self-righteous judgments because of your own insecurities.  I wish the wife of my MM would think of stepping my way, she would seriously have a huge problem!  She is not married to me but her husband.  And if you have a problem with your cheating husband, stop calling the other woman with all your heart ache talk to your husband.  After all, he's the one you're married to not the other woman.  All you Christians dishing out biblically-correct criticisms start with your own sin of judging others.  This may come across as moral relativism, but I'm not advocating that this situation is right or wrong, what I do claim is that to each his own journey.  This woman needs compassion and love, not judgments and threats of self-destruction.  We all self-destruct by one way or another, its part of this journey we call life. This is how we grow and learn.  Drchar, whatever your situation you know your heart.  And no one knows what's going on between you and your MM but you and him.  I've learned this the hard way, but you need to stop listening to others' opinion about your life and go with your heart.  Because usually when you get the advice of others in a situation like this, you set yourself up to listening to a bunch of judgmental, self-righteous, holier-than-thou BS.  There are many responses of those whose situation didn't work in their favor, they're just trying to save you from getting hurt, that's understandable. But Drchar, I also have some news for you and all those individuals who tell you men never leave their wives.  Do you know why the divorce rate in America is between 50-60%, because sometimes they do, and sometimes the wives leave them.  I've been on both ends of the spectrum having been married and cheated on and now having been involved with a MM. (And before someone comments, "how can you be involved with a MM if you were married and cheated on?" the answer to that question is because s*** happens). If you think you are too involved step back and allow some space.  Get rid of the guilt we have all fallen short of the grace of God.  Get rid of the justifications, making excuses about the situation is inauthentic.  Get real with yourself and in touch with your own feelings, love yourself, allow space so you can make a rational decision, then choose what you want to do.  But by all means, don't ever take the advice of anyone who justifies judging someone by using religion or evil threats of self-destruction.

You probably love him but the best thing to do, for both of you is to break it off. It'll be hard for both of you but in time it will get better. Try and make it a clean break, no more contact or anything. Then get your friend to go ut clubbing with you, throw yourself into the single scene and try to find  guy, whose not married who you like. It'd be for the best really, for both of you and his wife.

You know... I know exactly how you feel... It's so horrible.... I am now going through that. I never thought something like this could happen to me, It was just yesterday when he said he has fallen in love with me... And I love him too!!  But we knew from the beginning this should have never happened. He is going through separation and he has kids... He is also a little bil older than me and his life his full of commitments. I, on the other hand,  am full of life and could pick up and leave if I wanted to but I don't want to. We love each other and care for each other so much that it hurts to let him go; we were study partners, then friends, then we fell in love with each other...  I would probably loose him as my friend. There is no guilt or regrets for what happened between us. Nothing is wrong with you, you are just a human being, a woman with feelings and you just fell in love with him just like I did, You cannot tell your heart to love somebody else, even if there are a lot of men out there waiting for you... If you only want the one that you can't have and your heart tells you it's him whom you love.  I will try to move on and keep on going... I don't know what to expect but it will be best for us and just time will heal the pain I am going through.

Take it from one who knows...if he cheats on his wife..he will cheat on you.  A cheater NEVER changes..EVER.

I just don't understand why men get married, tell their wives they love them and then flirt with other women until the other woman thinks they love them and cant leave? If their sex is good at home and their wife works hard and they have nice kids, why do they tell some single woman that their wife is horrible she doesn't do anything and they hate her?How can sex with another be all that different and exciting? A nurse that worked at my office for us targeted my husband because she needed someone to support her. I'm a nurse and I've worked almost my whole life but I took some time off to be home making sure my kids did well.I had five. I saw a lot of my husband. I started our company with him. I worked hard my whole life and sacrificed most of the fun these single girls are now getting with the married wives that had their children put them through school and worked so hard. The nurse that targeted my husband (and went after him I was told) had  told me that  he told her I was horrible so she wanted to get back at me. She actually thought I didn't deserve him! Why would she believe him. You single girls might be surprized if you knew what the wife had done their whole lives for thier husband. Why should another woman get all the  night club dates and dinners out and the erotic exciting conversations with him on the phone after work. My husbands girlfriend begged him to move out of our house so she could start seeing him. She nagged him until he would blow up at me over any little thing. She told me she would one day take my whole company away from me and walk into the office holding his hand and everyone would know he didnt love me. She laughed at me and told me how could I be so stupid as to think i could MAKE HIM LOVE ME WHEN HE LOVES SOMEONE ELSE? Meaning her.....She said he told her he loved her and called her before and after all of our vacations. His story is very different. He says he never told her he loved her. He says she would say do you love me ? And he wouldn't really answer her she would just assume he loved her. She said he would say he missed her and was miserable with me. What she said to me is what has hurt me the most. I think every minute maybe he did love her maybe he still does, maybe he is still seeing her.....It is really not fair and i think she should have to be accountable for trying to hurt me  and by assuming I was bad. Even journalists double check thier information before publishing it. Then she tries to get a restraining order against me!!! The judge didn't give it to her and the judge thought she was nuts. I could tell she just wanted to be able to contact him, without me being able to do anything about it and then I guess she thought he would go to her. She looked at him in court and said to the judge.."he should have gotten a restrianing order for me a long time ago and he didnt! So I need it now?" That sounded to me like she still thinks he will eventually want to be with her.He continued the affair for awhile when she was throwing herself at him. He's told me he has stopped talking to her at all now but I'll never know. I live in fear that any moment he will move out again and make everything she told me turn out to be true.  His story is very different. He says it was just for the sex and he told her the whole time he would not divorce me. He said she would beg him all the time and ask when he was going to divorce me. He says he kept telling her he wasn't divorcing me.  How can the single girls that do this, convince themselves that they have NOTHING to do with breaking up or tearing apart a perfectly good relationship with this kind of preassure and grief and hurt? Who are they kidding?

You should dump him because if two people get married they love each other and  to tell you the truth if he's married then he loves the other girl kind a more than you so just dump him

Sounds like low self esteem or commitment issues.  As long as you know you won't get anything out of the relationship but grief.  You're breaking a commandment "thou shall not commit adultery ???  Ask for forgiveness and find someone who can commit to you thats single
I think if you re read your question you answered it !!!

I believe that you might have insecure ways within yourself. Not being rude but if you know that the man loves another women and you know he will never leave her then why would a you as a secure woman ever put yourself in a situation like that. Your own insecurities is what keeps you there. You know that you want more than that you just have to go get. There's plenty of good men out there that wouldn't cheat on their wife or treat you like that. I really hope you find what you deserve in a man! Good luck!

Nothing is wrong with you I have been dating a married man for 6 months and fell head over heals in love with him and what he did for me.  He lives in another state and we talked everyday all day and saw each other every other week.  We broke up yesterday and I feel like I lost my best friend.  His wife was depressed and mistreating their two children because her husband wasn't there in the physical/mental.  I felt horrible and let it go because I felt god wouldn't bless him neither me.  I have rejected all his calls today and I am going crazy, however I know it's right and I want my own husband one day.  The pressure of picking up the phone is killing me but I plan on staying focused and not being his distraction anymore.  I love me and want happiness one day.  I know how you feel and I had no support from my friends either.  I pray to god all the time,  I just feel as though I just needed to feel that emptiness at the time being.  I truly hurt and get lonely but I must move on and I will- your in my prayers and keep me in yours.  Happiness will find you.

I dated a married man for 5 long painful months.  Disaster.   I was in a desperate state of mind and emotionally bankrupt.   After dating the MM, I was even worse off.   Ultimately I told his wife and told her he was a sexual addict for 10 years.  It is about 7 months later,  I am still not over it.   But, the good news is I got out fairly quickly and took a drastic measure to get out too.

All things considered,   a great big mistake.

You should go get professional help. Get away from him before his wife finds out. Just because you put that down doesnt mean you care if your hurting someone.  You are messing up someones life. Get into therapy not for yourself for his wife who will be devastated when she finds out

Your in love thats whats wrong but sometimes you look past that is this healthy for you no its not dont lower your self for someone dont settle for 2nd always be number one you gotta really think hard for your self it may hurt but you gotta do it for your sakes. Forget him move on he belongs to her not you better your self

You are afraid of real commitment and you are safe with him because you know you will not ever have to deal with the fact of a real commitment.  If you really wanted to end it , you would. I have been there and no one will be there for you because of the situation.  But you will be more respected if you end it and people will come around and help you find someone better and not in a committed relationship.  So if you really are tired of being a second best, then just say goodbye to him forever. Good luck and best wishes if you want someone to support you.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you, you have to sit outside the situation and ask yourself, how would you feel if you were the wife. See the husband is happy because he knows you won't leave him alone and as long as his wife doesn't find out he has it made.

Oh you are insane! You are no better than he is! You are taking a man away from his family - yes I know he is also to blame - if he has kids you are walking on fire! The wife and kids do not deserve you coming between their family! Who gives you or him the right to hurt , lie, cheat and steal from the innocent? You better get your act together and hope that someday you are not on the other side of the door wondering where your husband is and trying to tell kids why mommy and daddy are fighting. Karma is real; you better leave him alone. You really don't know what love is because love does not hurt!!