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star gazing thanked Walt O'Reagun's answer

So there was this girl in 5th grade. We used to be the best of friends. Me, her, and her family friend were like the closest friends ever. The problem with that was I often got third wheeled, because she was of course closer with her family friend (why do I always get third wheeled in all of my friendships I've had?). 

One day, I got detention during school because I apparently "talked too much". It was the first time I had gotten detention, and I was usually the teacher's favorite student, so I was angry and embarrassed. The girl (I'm tired of calling her "the girl" now, let's just call her Beth, even though that's not her real name), or Beth, was waiting for me outside. I just brushed past her straight into the bathroom, because I didn't want anybody to see me crying, since I never cry in public. Apparently, that was my first strike. 

Later, during this event at school in which we had to dress up as if we lived in the time period of the American Revolution, Beth's family friend had to wear this really old fashioned dress. Now, I have nothing against those dresses—they're actually one of my favorite types of dresses. I like them much more than what girls wear today. So, I said, 'nice dress', when I passed Beth's family friend. That was apparently my last straw. 

I had an account on this game which let users private message each other. Later, Beth told me that she didn't want to be my friend anymore, because of the compliment I paid to her friend. I tried to tell her that my remark wasn't an insult, it was a compliment. She said some other nasty stuff in her message, which really hurt me, so I said nasty stuff back also. Then she sent more nasty stuff and swore at me. I reported her to the moderators of the site, and sent a complaint to the administrators. They did nothing. 

A few months later, she created another account (which is illegal) saying that she was sorry. Of course, since I was such an idiot, I believed her. This was during summer vacation so I couldn't meet up with her and talk in person. I thought everything was well, that I was forgiven and I forgave her too for what she did to me. But no, she backstabbed me. 

Later, she created multiple accounts claiming she was Beth's cousin (again, which is illegal) on the site to message my online friends (whom I didn't know in real life) to turn them against me and hate me. I remember there was this one friend who I was really close to, but she hated me after Beth poisoned her with lies. Then she tried to turn my closest friend online against me, but I spotted the signs (such as congratulating her on her page), and quickly private messaged my friend not to believe Beth. 

How could she do that? I forgave her after what she had done. She literally ruined my whole 5th grade, but I still forgave her. She apologized, and then she betrayed me and started turning my friends against me. 

Nearly 3 years later, I still feel the pain. We go to different middle schools and I deleted my account on the game (which really hurt me because that game was my life. I put so much effort and time into it, and I had so many close friends in that game who really made my day). We have absolutely no contact. I doubt she remembers me anymore. I'm probably just an annoying fly, a figment of her past that she'll forget soon. However, she's this huge black shadow in my life, making me shut down my walls and drift away from my friends because I'm afraid of them doing the same thing that Beth did. I start looking at my friends' actions, and wildly interpreting them as them third, fifth, and even seventh wheeling, leaving me out, and losing interest in me. I don't know what I could've done differently then. Should I have not sent the mean messages back? But she hated me so much, so everything would have fallen apart eventually. Now all I can do is to pick up the fragments of me and try to piece myself together. I will never forgive her.

But in the Bible, Jesus says for us to love our neighbors and our enemies. So how can I forgive and forget what she had done? How can I move on when everything reminds me of her?

You don't.  It's a stupid saying.

It's okay to "forgive" someone.

But if you "forget", you will keep being mistreated again and again.

"Forgive, but remember" is much better advice. 

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star gazing thanked Anonymous' answer

You have to talk to someone.  He knows about women's monthly perios.  All you need to say is dad, I need to go to the store and get some female products. Enough said! He will know.

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star gazing thanked Danae Hitch's answer

Seriously. It seems you have no idea how to treat people. TALK TO SOMEONE IN PERSON - FACE TO FACE - ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WANT TO "END" THINGS, whatever that means.

Have the courtesy to make a decision and talk to someone about what you have decided. It is hard to be misunderstood that way and … Read more

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star gazing thanked Gator Blu's answer

While it is not ok to hit someone, I have to agree with the others about your previous questions. Perhaps you can find someone who can teach you some social graces so that no one wants to hit you.

P.S. The correct spelling for "fisical" is physical. If you had not given examples I would … Read more

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star gazing thanked Bikergirl Anonymous' answer

If you have been assaulted you can call the police and report it...of course. No one has the right to assault you.

However .. I reread your previous questions and it seems like you are very sexist, aggressive and insensitive towards women. Perhaps that is where you should focus on changing your ways.

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star gazing commented
oh that makes more sense--if i recall, xc in, at most, 8th grade is 2 miles. yes, sprinting means a lot of resistance and strength training leading to stockier muscles. Honestly this looks like it's your gut choice. Consider: Do you just like it for what it is, no matter your success, or are you … Read more
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star gazing answered Fan Girl's question

The only way to get better at running is to run as much as you can. If you're doing xc, I'm also assuming you'll do mid or long distance in track (800m-3200m). If your school's xc/track program works the way my school does, you can just join in by asking the head coach if you … Read more

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star gazing thanked Lia Tan's answer

Yeah I know what you mean about the Asian parents thing. But I can understand why your mom got mad. Being an actress or a singer is very difficult and competitive and not many people make it. And Asian parents are usually pretty invested in their child's success so she's only thinking about how likely … Read more

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star gazing answered Anonymous' question

Don't try anything, or use any stereotypes-it's a really bad look! Instead, just dress in the costume they give you and do your hair (whcih you can find tutorials on youtube). Not all Indian girls look the same, there's not really a single all-shared trait.

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star gazing thanked Pepper pot's answer

You need some more eggs in your basket. Make a diary and then fill it with things to do. Go out to different places and meet new people. Do these things despite how you are feeling, sometimes a change of circumstances is what we need to free ourselves.

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star gazing thanked Bikergirl Anonymous' answer

There is no such thing as a 'quick fix' in matters of the heart.  Wounds take time to heal .. And heal at at their own pace. Each wound differs from the next .. No two are exactly alike.


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star gazing thanked Anonymous' answer

You did this to yourself. Now stop the obsession with this woman. All she wanted was to be friends you have to learn the how to be friends first.

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star gazing thanked Gator Blu's answer

Everyone is different so we cannot tell you how long it will take. To help getting over it. Get out and do things you like to do.  Meet with friends. Take walks.