If your thoughts are this bad, you need to seek Professional help here as this is serious especially when you wake feeling sorry that youre still alive. I can help you if it wasn't this bad so get the help you need as soon as you can. Good luck
I've died quite a bit in my dreams and it's very nerve and mood wracking. However, it helped me come to terms with death itself and helped me feel comfortable with the natural ending of things.
Why do you want to suicide?
It's a good dream. It means you will be successful in tour.