It's not meeting your biological father that may be the issue, it is usually lack of fathering by whoever was there -meaning step fathers too, or lack of father figure. You know you have a problem,  so I suggest counseling.

You don't want to live a life or regret being with one guy after another. That … Read more

I think being a hermit is going to be a long sad life if you start this early.  It may be better for you if you try and find a way past your daddy issues.

But if you're dead set on being alone, just say "NO".

The (Abraham) god you refer to, in my opinion is bipolar and has really messed up morals and values. Money is nicer to have than the abrahamic perspective of "god" but if I chose a value more important to me that it would have to be creativaty.

with money I can buy hippie a pizza and eat some myself, I have yet to see God working in the food kitchen.