I am annoying to most people even though most of us have never met. I mistrust any one named Hugh. I find people who chew with their mouth open unsettling. I hum, involuntarily during urination because I don't know the words. I don't believe in yellow. I believe my shoulder blades are conspiring behind my back. I think Humpty Dumpty was pushed. I never shower with strangers. I detest chocolate tacos, rust flavored ice cream and the sound of one hand clapping. And one time I sneezed, coughed, hick-uped and farted at the same time...I saw God...he told me to tell you, "Hi", so, Hi !.

I enjoy long walks, (made by others going away). I enjoy good friends, (medium rare with onions). I enjoy listening to music with the mute button on. I don't appreciate art or any other endeavor described by less than four letters. I love going to the movies but I hate movies. I enjoy eating out as long as it's not open to the public. I enjoy people most when their somewhere else. I collect mildew, invertigo coldsores and off color Italian hand gestures. My nick name is Nick. I like things with purpose but shapes make my teeth ache. I think either my armpits are melting or it's not really Monday.