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Hey, I have really bad trust issues so I haven't been able to speak to anyone and I just have to say this?

I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. My looks, my voice... my weight. I'm about 177cm tall and I weigh 63kg. I look at all these photos of people in my school and how pretty they are and their thy gaps and flat stomachs and I just wish I could have that.

Last year I tried everything I could to lose weight (i was 75kg). I tried everything, dieting, exercise... everything. Over the December holidays, I just stopped eating. I ate around 600 calories a day and I lost weight. By the end of the month, I was 67kg. One of the teachers at school that I'm quite close to noticed something wrong and spoke to me. I spoke to her once for about 10/15 minutes but she's leaving in a month. I cry every night because she's the only person that has actually given a shit (sorry for the language) and I love her for that but she's leaving. The other day I went into her class and asked if she told anyone and she said that she had to and she told my grade head.  I feel so scared around all of the teachers and I feel like that all know and they're all judging me and I feel so insecure.  I want to talk to someone about it but I cant. i would speak to my dad but i dont have a close relationship with him and i'd speak to my mom but i havent spoken to her in 6 months. I'm 15 and i currently weigh 63kg. I eat 400 calories or less a day and every time i look in the mirror i just want to cry. i hate my body. i hate how i can pinch and inch of my skin when i stand and i hate everything about myself.

 

i'm really sorry i just had to type this out.

Thanks x


2 Answers

Walt O'Reagun Profile
Walt O'Reagun answered

You have an eating disorder, and need professional psychiatric help.

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