Dawid Niedbala
Dawid Niedbala voted up Joy Ryder's answer
My Husband's Mother Is Very Dominating And He's Always Been Under Her Thumb. We've Only Been Married A Few Months But Already, I Can Feel The Presence Of The Problem. This Is Not A Typical Mother-in-law Matter As I Like Her Well Enough As A Person. But I'm Feeling A Bit Caught In The Middle. He Complains To Me All The Time That She Wants Him To Do Things For Her. I Tell Him He Should Be More Honest And Assertive But He Says It's Very Hard After A Lifetime's Pattern Of Just Giving In. When He Does Stand His Ground, I'm Sure She Thinks I'm Responsible For His New Attitude. Maybe Marriage Has Just Given Him The Courage To Stand Up More For Himself But I Feel That He And I Are Just Starting Out And I Don't Want This Cloud Over Our Lives. What Can I Do, If Anything?

Do you and him live with his mother?  Is it her house?  If so you need your own place..  As for mom-n-law: why is she so focused on just her son?  

Isn't there other family? Or a significant other in life to help her do things like chores and errands or just be around for some … Read more

Dawid Niedbala
Dawid Niedbala voted up charmaine saunders' answer
My Husband's Mother Is Very Dominating And He's Always Been Under Her Thumb. We've Only Been Married A Few Months But Already, I Can Feel The Presence Of The Problem. This Is Not A Typical Mother-in-law Matter As I Like Her Well Enough As A Person. But I'm Feeling A Bit Caught In The Middle. He Complains To Me All The Time That She Wants Him To Do Things For Her. I Tell Him He Should Be More Honest And Assertive But He Says It's Very Hard After A Lifetime's Pattern Of Just Giving In. When He Does Stand His Ground, I'm Sure She Thinks I'm Responsible For His New Attitude. Maybe Marriage Has Just Given Him The Courage To Stand Up More For Himself But I Feel That He And I Are Just Starting Out And I Don't Want This Cloud Over Our Lives. What Can I Do, If Anything?
Your letter indicates a very mature and balanced person. I don't think this problem is yours at all yet you're caught up in it. What you have advised your husband to do is absolutely correct but you can't make him do it if he's not yet ready. He will stand up to his mother when … Read more