Dobroniega Kawa
Dobroniega Kawa voted up Didge Doo's answer

You could always try something like this:

Dear Peon,
I am writing to bring you some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you will be less bored in the future because you will have less leisure time. The bad news is that you will spend it at work. Commencing immediately, … Read more