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Sounds to me like you need to see a Doctor for a possible prescription to help you out. Only he/she can make a proper diagnosis and see what will work best for you. This site even has an over the counter drug that might help. See your Doctor !
Since we really don't know Who wrote the book of Matthew . . It remains suspect of legitimacy, therefore one cannot imply that Jesus was Racist, Bigoted or really anything.
Some information regarding the authorship of Matthew - Authorship