Call this number, they'll help: 1-800-273-8255.
Please call the number Hippy gave you.
I don't think anyone here is willing to help you kill yourself, if that's what you meant. Please do not kill yourself. Instead, get in contact with someone who knows what to do in these situations: the suicide hotline is a number, 1-800-273-8255, but you can also get in contact with someone online at suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
See it is the silent ones that scare me. You are in a better position and actually, in your own way, seeking help by what you just asked. Anyone in their right mind would not help you kill yourself. Call the number these kind people have given you. You know you want the help. :0)
I wish I could help but the truth is i am not (nor anyone here is) able or equipped to provide you with the qualified help you need.
All we can do is plead with you to call the number provided to you .. That's where the help you need is.