HelpStop AnimalAbuse

Should people move in together before they get married?

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PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

My mother insisted on it. It is easier to move out than get a divorce if you find out you are incompatible. With that said I do think there should be some kind of commitment made before moving in together.  One where you are working towards marriage or a permanent relationship.  I don't think it should be treated casually.

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HelpStop AnimalAbuse
HelpStop AnimalAbuse commented
I believe you don't really know someone until you have lived with them. As you said once you sign that marriage certificate then it changes everything. It's not just a piece of paper 📝.
PJ Stein
PJ Stein commented
There is a law in the state of Florida that is no longer enforced that makes cohabitation illegal. It was written over a century ago to mainly stop inter-racial couples from living together. It was to written to cover a loophole created when they made it illegal for them to marry. Even though they repealed the marriage law, the cohabitation law remains.
Woof Woofy Profile
Woof Woofy answered

I guess it's better to know how everything will turn out beforehand rather than after marriage.. Something might go sour once you live together.

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Bikergirl Anonymous
Bikergirl Anonymous commented
Don't think for one minute ... the "beforehand" is carved in stone. Nothing can be further from the truth.

For example .. even I am not the same 'person' I once was (none of us are). Not even close. Over my lifetime, I have experienced many things .. many typcial things that range from over the moon elation to complete devistation. THOSE are the things that have created the person I am today.

When two young people meet, fall in love and plan to marry have little to base their faith on in term of compatability. However, it is important for them to learn as much as they can and base their faith on what they've got to work with. They need time to truly get a snap shot of the potention of the person they plan to spend the rest of their life with. It is ONLY after years go by and life is lived do they EVER get the true sense of who they are, never mind 'who' their partner is as individuals.

Intererestingly .. it's a little different when two older people, fall in in love and plan to marry. THEY have experienced many of lifes challenges and HAVE gone through (at least partially) the metamorphasis that LIFE causes. There is far more information and history available to base a judgement on.

Behaviour is not tangible. We all have our tendancies, and personality 'types' but again .. even that is reflective of 'where we are' on a scale of happiness and contentment..and can change as our circumstances change.
Bikergirl Anonymous
Bikergirl Anonymous commented
.. my point is .. one can only hope that a couple's compatability can stand strong during the changes a relationship endures .. but even that is not carved in stone. It's a chance you take, and commit to.
Bikergirl Anonymous Profile
Bikergirl Anonymous answered

Not neccessarily, live together .. But, I do believe couples should spend enough time with each other to get to REALLY know each other.  THAT takes time because only time can present enough situations in life that fully shows a pattern of behaviour.  THAT is how you get to know someone .. By paying attention to how they act, react and interact on many levels.

Tom Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

I can't cite my reference, but I remember reading that living together prior to marriage doesn't have much affect---good or bad---on the subsequent marriage.

Of course, whether or not you liver together before marriage is tied to what you think is the right or wrong thing to do.

(And maybe that's why it doesn't have much affect on the outcome.)

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