Yin And Yang

How do you personally deal with people who you will never "good enough" for?


12 Answers

dragonfly forty-six Profile

I stopped caring. I don't care if I'm good enough or not. Having narcissistic parents teaches you that you will never be good enough. That's a hard blow when it comes from the people who are supposed to believe in you. I separated, took stock, and gave myself the validation I was craving. I realized that it wasn't that I wasn't good enough, but that their thinking was flawed. It is their issue not mine. Because it wasn't my issue, there was nothing to fix, so I adjusted my thought process. I can control how much of the BS that I'll allow myself to buy into.

Sadly, because I'll never win, never be good enough, never will be right, never have a real relationship, estrangement will be imminent. Now I'll have to deal with the taboo of being a daughter who is estranged from her mother. You wouldn't believe the negative bias that I get from that. If those would only understand that it's self preservation that pushes me to do something so very drastic. That despite them(my parents), I just love myself too much to be abused any longer.

Fortis Paradise Profile
Fortis Paradise answered

Ironically, I have a group of friends who humiliate me and make fun of me every time I try to do something with my life or say something meaningful, I won't ever be good enough for them If I say or do anything worthy, they accept me only at my lowest, I'm trying to break things off..

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Fortis Paradise
Fortis Paradise commented
You are absolutely right Danae, Thank you
If I don't respect myself and my peace of mind no one else will.
Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
So true, Fortis. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to say:

No More! My thoughts and opinions DO matter - it doesn't matter if you agree - it matters that you listen.
Fortis Paradise
Fortis Paradise commented
Well said.
Corey The Goofyhawk Profile
Corey The Goofyhawk , Epic has no limit, answered

If I'm really feeling up to it, I make it awkward. I might as well have some fun with it.

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

I laugh at them. After all, The only person other than myself that I need to be "good enough" for is my husband. And he is my biggest cheerleader. (One of the reasons I married him! :-) ) Honestly those who think you aren't good enough are the ones who are unhappy with themselves and try to make themselves feel better by making you look worse. They are probably jealous that you actually aren't falling into the traps they have.

Darik Majoren Profile
Darik Majoren answered

I place "Their" importance in its proper perspective.

In a work environment its tough if you are their subordinate, and mentally draining. It would behoove someone in that position to look for employment elsewhere.

In the normal walk of life, living up to someone else's expectations will NEVER be mentally healthy for anyone. Regardless of the station in your life . . . Mother Father, Wife, Husband, Brother, Sister, or friend . . . Live your life up to YOUR expectation. Find your peace there first.

Donald Trump's Hair Is Lovely Profile

I have some in my immediate family, unfortunately. (sister, her hub and daughter) FEW are good enough for them. I just keep disliking them, (but love) but have to tolerate their condescending ways, as I don't want to call them on those piggish ways. Care about their feelings, but shouldn't.

How about YOU, Yin?

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